Hope for the Holidays

Hope for the Holidays

We are in the thick of the holiday season. For families with a loved one in recovery (or needing treatment), things can look different than normal around this time of year. We want to provide you with a few tips that may help your family have hope for the holidays.

Don’t feel guilty for breaking tradition. If things need to be different to be bearable, then so be it. Whether it be spending a portion of the holiday visiting your son in treatment or holding off on doing something that you want him to be present for, it’s okay if things look and feel different. Sometimes, it’s the expectation to force things to be as they have always been that hurt us the most. Relieve yourself of that unfair expectation, and you may find that you’ll find peace even in sad or unfortunate circumstances.

Address the elephant in the room. There’s no need in treating your son’s addiction and/or absence as a taboo subject. Acknowledge that family and loved ones may be hurting or have strong feelings regarding this. Grieve, cry, and share those emotions together as a family. Then, go on with the rest of your day. Make the “elephant” a part of your day, but don’t allow it to consume the day.

Leave time for yourself. If and when you become overwhelmed with emotion, take breaks throughout the day. It can be overwhelming to brace yourself for questions like, ‘Where’s your son”, “How’s he doing?”, “Is he still on the fritz?” Don’t feel guilty for stepping away and taking time for yourself to self-regulate. Make your environment safer by communicating your needs and caring for yourself.

Allow yourself to be loved on. So often we see parents isolate themselves from other family members and loved ones out of shame for what their family is going through. While we encourage protecting your peace and mental health, be careful not to turn away nurturing love, encouragement, and affirmation. Although your son may be the one in recovery, the entire family has been affected by this. As your son gets care, make sure you allow others to care for you as well.

Enforce loving boundaries with and for your son. Something that we see parents often struggle with is allowing their son to experience natural consequences. Any loving parent wants to save their child from experiencing any degree of hurt or pain. “We want the best for them.” However, when we do this, it takes longer for young men to understand and cope with the natural consequences of their actions. As parents who care and love him, you don’t want to enable consistently harmful behavior. So, you must set boundaries and follow through with consequences…even on the holidays.

As you brave this holiday season, we hope that you are able to utilize some of these tips to restore hope and still experience sweet, memorable moments this holiday season.