Pain That Produces

Pain that Produces

Sometimes, it can be hard to receive encouragement from others when you are hurting beyond what you can articulate. Sentiments like “Thinking of you”, “I hope it gets better”, and “I’m so sorry” seem so empty. Not because your loved ones don’t mean well, but because the “light at the end of the tunnel” seems farther and farther away as your family battles the throws of addiction, depression, and dysfunction. In the darkest moments you may wonder, “Will we ever recover? What good can come of this?” When families walk in our front door to admit their son, we often recognize the look of both hope and uncertainty. We want to give you a look into ways that this journey can produce something good for your family too.

“I didn’t think I would be open to engage in any way, but then I started to put pieces of my life back together and realized I wasn’t so angry anymore”, says a Capstone graduate during his graduation ceremony. What some of our guys started off seeing as a punishment (coming to treatment), often turns out to be an opportunity to restart, build relationships with peers who are also seeking relief, be challenged and grow in ways they never considered or thought possible, and an opportunity to be seen as more than what they have done and/or what’s been done to them.

Parents often share that Family Week along with weekly calls with their son’s therapist has helped them to see themselves, their parenting, their relationships, and their son differently. On a recent aftercare call, “I thought we were getting help for our son, but we ended up getting help for ourselves too!” This is what pain producing looks like – incremental shifts and progress in thinking, feeling, and eventually behavior as a result of taking action to get to the core of the pain. See our Core Systems Model here.

Truthfully, your son may not “buy in” or “get it” right away. It may take some time to welcome a new, healthy lifestyle and way of thinking. Capstone Treatment Center is a launching pad to put your family in the direction of change. Lasting change is not quick, but instead, takes place over time. Many times, we make the mistake of only seeing progress as the complete absence of a behavior or thought process. In doing so, we don’t recognize or give credit to the fact that the frequency of that behavior or thought process has decreased over time. This is progress too! In fact, it is more likely to happen this way.

While the pain experienced on the journey to treatment and recovery is never one that we hope for, we have seen that very journey produce stable, healthy, and promising young men and families time and time again. Growing can be gruesome, pruning is painful, and tending can be tedious…but healing awaits you on the other side.